Thursday, August 23, 2007


it is better to give than receive.

is it not better then to let people give you stuff? it's obviously good for them!

If you have a problem of someone to give to I know someone who is willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good :-)

Tuesday, April 17, 2007


Beauty cannot be seen without a sense of morality.
Beauty is a distinction between what is right and wrong.
Deception is the source of all ugliness.
We are most ugly when we lie to ourselves.
The path to beauty is Honesty.
Honesty is our only redemption.

Fantasy and Reality

Reality is the canvas for our imaginations.
Fantasy is realities unrealised.
The taste of reality.
The colours of reality.
They will etch vivid memories.
Fantasy fades to a blur.

Monday, March 26, 2007


There's been a lot of strange things going on in my life.

I never ceased to be amazed by the number of people who seem to take action that defy rational thought. There's a lot of crazy going around.

Of course, things are never quite as irrational as they seem. Mostly it seems that people are trapped by some kind of illusion about their reality. Theres often quite understandable psychology that's going on behind the scenes. However, the results of peoples illusions can be quite devastating on those around them.

Not that all illusion or crazy is bad. I certainly live within my illusions and craziness. But I think somewhere within any sense of craziness or illusion there has to be some concept of meaning, humanity, and spirituality.

I wonder if values are dying out? I wonder if in a world of massive opportunity and knowledge that people just become apathetic to it all?

Either way I have a new respect for those crazy people who have a sense of value and meaning in their life.

Friday, March 02, 2007


I just got two hand forged katanas today. Nice.

One black, one red, and made for cutting.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007


I've been watching the whole Cyfswatch thing from a bit of a distance.

There's too little information to make sense of all the events going on, but, I think its an interesting idea in that the people who want the goverment thinking changed on this are using quite an effective tool. Well, a potentially effective tool, whether things change or not is yet to be seen.

I think more and more we will see the blog world have extremely imporant role in politics and goverments. Question is, how will it be exploited?

Lifes a Beach

Kids at the beach.

151 pushups, 151 situps to day

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


During life, it seems to me that hurt tends to outweigh everything else.

Take a mentally healthy person and within moments you can cause that person a hurt that will adversely change the rest of their life. You can break them.

It's hard to imagine the opposite kind of event, perhaps some would argue finding god would be such an event, or perhaps finding enlightenment / nirvana. But even these things can be cut down by a moment of hurt also. Though, some remain immune.

It seems that the things that provide protection against hurt work by disassociating ourselves from our flesh and blood. We merge into a bigger picture or disappear into nothingness. We find a way to separate our experience of life from who we are, we find our Spirit. Yet, when the going is good, we try to be one with the "moment" we try to let ourselves go, and purely *experience*, we don't want to be disassociated with our experience.

It's interesting that our brain does a similar thing. It (psychologically speaking) also disassociates painful events. It has to or otherwise we'd be overwhelmed (some people are). Our brains automatically try and protect us from our bad experiences and memories. However, it will prod us sharply if it recognises an association with a past hurt. Hence why people have all sorts of fears for unknown reasons.

So, I wonder if spirituality is simply a self defence mechanism?

This reasoning is a bit awkward really. But I have just been reflecting on a number of people and have seen that hurt has been a significant life shaping thing. I have also been reflecting on my own life and what I seem to remember is these moments "clarity", moments where things fell together and made sense. I see these things as massively positive experiences. I feel these things have shaped me as who I am. Defined my spirt. But, when I really really think about it, I actually have very selective memory. My hurt has been hidden in my mind, I dont immediately recall it, or it just dosn't seem so bad. But actually, the hurt has been significant. It shaped what moments of "clarity" I have had. My moments of "clarity" are probablly just coping mechanisims for hurt.

Even if thats what they are, they make the experience of life generally enjoyable.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


I love learning things. However I do get carried away with it and end up trying to learn WAY too many things. It's always a trade off between breadth and depth. However, currently my list is

Psychology - have a bunch of books I'm wading through
Philosophy - I keep wading through a bunch of stuff
Drawing - I didn't mean to do this one, but it's fun
Mindmapping - Revisiting this, am using it for helping to learn psychology and philosophy
Speed Reading - Revisiting this also, I got a stack of books to get through and need to get my reading speed up.
Lua - Scripting Language
Software Design - solidifying my ideas and researching a wide variety of approaches

Oh, and something else that I started doing in the new year (though it doesn't have anything to do with learning) is based on this cool idea I came across. The idea is that on the 1st of Jan, you do a push up and a sit up, on the 2nd, you do 2 pushups and 2 situps, and onwards and upwards till your doing 365 pushups and situps at the end of the year. I thought this was a great idea! Except, I found this a bit too easy, so I modified it to be a little more ambitious, so now I'm increasing every day by 3, this way I will be doing over a 1000 pushups and situps by the end of the year, today it was 85, tomorrow, 88.